| | Death's fiercest feeling is loss. The loss of what's been, and of things hoped for. Pictures of moments past come in waves, like greatest-hits, playing over and over; growing reminders of all that is gone. And those who have lost grieve, rightfully, that loss. But grief must give way to gratefulness. Gratefulness for all that has been given that will remain.
Most of us can say that we are more full because of Haldon Wayne Varner. There are innumerable good things in our lives, in my life, because of him. Because of this man, many of us are. Not only do we exist, we are who we are, in large part, because of him. Through him and with him we have been given much and learned much.
So, grief mingles with joy—with the joy of having known a man so full of life, of love for his family, of humor, and of generosity, and kindness. I don't recall ever hearing the words "I love you", but he told me constantly. He told me in the way he patiently taught me, in the way he never lost a breath before offering his strong helping hands. In the way those same iron hands gripped mine, taking joy in strength, in those challenges of might we both knew I'd never win. And I never wanted to. I wanted to learn and grow from that strength, and trust in it. I feared it and loved it, just as I loved this grandfather, this husband, father, great-grandfather, hero, this real-life Duke.
I will miss all that he was. But he has had his strong hand in making me, and I know I'll never really be without him. So, my grief mingles with joy, because the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. But He has truly given, and the He has given, and He has given. And for this I am grateful; that all these things will remain—until He takes us as well.
written for Haldon Wayne Varner, December 31, 2007 |
| | Posted 1/3/2008 9:35 AM - 51 Views - 0 eProps - 1 Comment
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