dezirk88's Xanga

super tuesday

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:55:38 GMT

an adaptation:

"If a transtemporal, transfinite good is our real destiny, then any other good on which our desire fixes must be in some degree fallacious, us bear at best only a symbolical elation to what will truly satisfy.

"... almost all our modern philosophies [or campaigns] have been devised to convince us that the good of man is to be found on this earth [this america]. And yet it is a remarkable thing that such [campaigns] of Progress or Creative Evolution [change] themselves bear reluctant witness to the truth that our real goal is elsewhere. When they want to convince you that earth [america] is your home, notice how they set about it. They begin by trying to persuade you that [america] can be made into heaven, thus giving a sop to your sense of exile in [america] as it is [or whichever given administration]. Next, they tell you that this fortunate event is still a god way off in the future [beginning next january], thus giving a sop to your knowledge that the fatherland is not here and now. Finally, lest your longing for the transtemporal should awake and spoil the whole affair, they use any rhetoric that comes to hand to keep out of your mind the recollection that even if all the happiness they promised could come to man [in america], yet still each generation [or administration] would lose it by death, including the last generation of all, and the whole story would be nothing, not even a story, for ever and ever. Hence all the nonsense that Mr. Shaw puts into the final speech of Lilith, and Bergson's remark that the elan vital is capable of surmounting all obstacles [yes, we can], perhaps even death [yes we can]-- as if we could believe that an social or biological development on this planet [or this country] will delay the senility of the sun or reverse the second law of thermodynamics." -from The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis (brackets mine)
with this in mind, go see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY

now, all of this is by no means an attack specifically on obama, or anyone else. it is however what has been running through my mind in the midst of so much rhetoric throughout these primaries. much of what we hear seems to me to be this sort of thing. indeed christians are called, i believe, to work out God's Kingdom on earth, but always with a sort of holy indifference, knowing that it will not fully come until He does. something in me quivers at the connection that Hope, though indeed real, is dependent upon or somehow proffered by any specific candidate. there are certainly good and bad candidates, and there are certainly right and wrong directions for the country, which we should all be involved shaping in daily. but the best president in history will do little to change reality, or to give me any more or less Hope. i as much as anyone would like to be able to rally around a leader. but that leader should have an appropriate estimate of his importance, important though he may be. just some grains of salt. God give us wisdom, perspective, and Hope deeper and longer than any administration. Now i'm off to vote.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:35:30 GMT

Death's fiercest feeling is loss. The loss of what's been, and of things hoped for. Pictures of moments past come in waves, like greatest-hits, playing over and over; growing reminders of all that is gone. And those who have lost grieve, rightfully, that loss. But grief must give way to gratefulness. Gratefulness for all that has been given that will remain.
Most of us can say that we are more full because of Haldon Wayne Varner. There are innumerable good things in our lives, in my life, because of him. Because of this man, many of us are. Not only do we exist, we are who we are, in large part, because of him. Through him and with him we have been given much and learned much.
So, grief mingles with joy—with the joy of having known a man so full of life, of love for his family, of humor, and of generosity, and kindness. I don't recall ever hearing the words "I love you", but he told me constantly. He told me in the way he patiently taught me, in the way he never lost a breath before offering his strong helping hands. In the way those same iron hands gripped mine, taking joy in strength, in those challenges of might we both knew I'd never win. And I never wanted to. I wanted to learn and grow from that strength, and trust in it. I feared it and loved it, just as I loved this grandfather, this husband, father, great-grandfather, hero, this real-life Duke.
I will miss all that he was. But he has had his strong hand in making me, and I know I'll never really be without him. So, my grief mingles with joy, because the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. But He has truly given, and the He has given, and He has given. And for this I am grateful; that all these things will remain—until He takes us as well.

written for Haldon Wayne Varner, December 31, 2007

in memorium

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 22:38:29 GMT

•in memorium•

<

Haldon Wayne Varner
Oct. 2, 1929- Dec. 28, 2007
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 20:58:09 GMT

"What an increase

                there is in his powers

                when in research

                               or in battle,

                Man catches the breath of affections

                            or comradeship;

what fulfillment

             when, in the instant of danger

                            or enthusiasm,

             he finds in a flash that he has glimpsed

                         the wonders of a kindred spirit.

These faint glimmerings

          should help us realize

                   what a formidable power and joy

                                                          and capacity for action

                         still slumber in the human spirit."(fic)*

-Teilhard de Chardin, Building the Earth
-*(format in context)

-been reading this book lately. kind of fluffy, but this passage stuck out to me. made me remember and long. i miss some friends greatly. you know who you are.

it's been a while...

Wed, 16 May 2007 22:20:34 GMT

so, i'm obviously not still on my honeymoon, though if i wanted to be sickly sweetly romantical, i could say it still feels like i am. whether that's true or not, marriage is fantastic. i'm loving it. i'm not really sure exactly what to say that would flesh that statement out. it's just too great. i'm still excited for what's to come, though we have no idea what that will be. i'm currently scouring the earth for work. and of course she's making me look bad. everyone wants to hire an adorable, wonderful, delightful, brilliant girl. not a big market for long-haired, ill-groomed, lanky, philosophy majors. but something will come. or maybe she'll just be my sugar mama. i'm okay with that. still taking photos. if you get the chance check out www.derekjenkins-photography.com and www.flickr.com/photos/elninomudo. the later is more frequently updated. enjoying that. in other news, i'm an uncle!!! my sister valerie had a little girl this past sunday. i'm very excited. welcome to the world Lucy Kae Evans. we will love you.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 14:47:46 GMT

so, i'm married. and on my honeymoon. !!!!!!!!!! :)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 21:41:49 GMT

and i'm back. safe and sound. spending a few days in aurora with a dear friend before heading back to columbia on saturday. it's a good way to ease back home.

hello amber waves of grain

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 23:16:30 GMT

so here it is. my final few hours in this great city they call barcelona. so many goodbyes, yet so many anticipated hellos. there is so much to look forward to, yet it's still hard to leave this place and these people. but i'm looking forward to being home. among other things, fiancées are really people you need to see. anyway, it's too late to say much now. so much won't sink in until a few months down the road. suffice to say, it's been a fantastic year over all. one i'll continue to learn from. but it'll be good to be home. if only for a while. see you soon.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 23:20:05 GMT

tomorrow morning i leave for portugal. not really a place i ever thought about going. to me, it's kind of like the canada of europe. you occasionally meet people from there, you don't really hear or know much about it but you assume it really does exist. (though, canada...i have my doubts, and theories) it's not a trip i've really planned for or thought about much, oddly enough. i'm kind of just tagging along, hoping to be of some use. it'll be ten days with 14 catalans in a portuguese speaking country. so, needless to say, it'll be a quiet week for me. my ears and brain will ache each night from trying to understand all the catalan i can. but it'll be good. we're going to work at an orphanage just outside of oporto. we'll be painting, gardening, & fixing things by day, and playing with the kids by night. should be a great experience. it's interesting, going into a situation like this when you have no idea what to expect but you know you're completely unprepared for it.

but i have had practice playing with kids. it's been an unexpected surprise this year to have befriended a group of kids in the neighborhood affectionately referred to only as "the niños". they have this ability to absolutely delight you, and also take you to the limits of your patience. but some of them have really become some of my best friends here. strange to have a nine year old from bangladesh be one of your best friends. but seriously these kids are great. i didn't come with any knowledge of them or any desire to hang out with kids, but it's been one of the highlights of my year here. and i know i'll miss them when i go.

p.s.- the fair album (though i've not heard all of it, it's waiting with my lady at home) is fantastic. aaron sprinkle just gets better all the time, and he's always been great. check it out if you can.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 03:14:59 GMT

a dense fog still hovers over the city in the morning, and the streets still echo with the sounds of battle from the night before. the city was full of people, and i think they shipped in more for some extra hands in shooting off the small arms stockpile that some call fireworks. my shoulder and arm smell of kiwi & vodka. the beach was covered with drunks like sand. and now, as the sun rises, i fall. it was fiesta de sant juan. always a crazy night in barcelona.